Listen up, i'm coming off losing 20 units on Saturday and I am not happy with how those games played out. The Buffalo Bills once again fall short in the playoffs costing me 10 units (and an additional 5 secret units on a parlay), and the 49ers got their fuckin backs blown out by the Seahawks. You could argue 9ers +7 was the worst wager of the NFL season. 

I am so beyond tired of the cake. My bookie is up so much coin right now and I have no choice but to go 2-0 today or else I am so cooked. Here are the whales for the Sunday Divisional Round of the playoffs.

Everyone has fallen in love with this Texans defense, and rightfully so, they're absolutely disgusting. However, the Texans still have a dog shit QB under center, and I refuse to put my coin in the hands of CJ Stroud to win me a 10 unit play and a big playoff game. Give me Drake Maye in the biggest game of his life to protect the football, conduct long mythodical drives on offense and earn himself a spot in the AFC Championship game. With all this being said, I am fully prepared for the Pats to lose this game outright with the way my wagers have been going.

Quick side note, just wanted to express my hatred for Nico Collins, I know he got injured last week and isn't playing today, but that man disrespects coin more than anyone all year. You will never see him in any of my Prizepicks lineups ever again. I gifted my family a free lineup for Christmas and they all would have won5k but Nico chalked the whole fam, shits fucked. Anyways, Patriots -3 for a mortal mega.

Once Patriots -3 cashes, we get to the sweatiest game of the weekend. This game means so much more than just a 10u mortal mega on the Rams -3.5. I am actually a Rams fan for those who didn't know + I have multiple massive futures wagers pending on the Rams. If they lose this fuckin game I am going to be in complete shambles, similar to the Haliban in game 1 of the NBA finals. This game is so hard for me to bet on because on one side I have so much money pending on futures, meanwhile the Bears have been the only team to respect my coin all season. This will be my first time betting against them and it feels so wrong. My gut is telling me the Bears will win outright and I should absolutely hedge, but that is softer than baby shit. I am doubling down on the Rams to get it done in Chicago.

Taking both favorites on a Sunday, is anyone shocked? You knew I was always taking Pats and Rams. Just wanted to wrap this up by saying fuck Krabs. Best of luck to all on your wagers this evening, and just know i'll be curled up in a ball sulking if the Rams lose today. Be seein'.